Our Fat Life
I have been overweight my whole life and my hubby has been his whole adult life. We have watched our scale rise and fall a LOT over the years. We tried exercise and a healthy diet. We tried to always stay active with our little farm and garden, or hiking and biking with the kids and all kinds of things that we are told should help maintain a healthy weight. None of that worked for us. He could lose about 40 pounds and me 20 for a short time but that was never enough nor did it take very long for the pounds to come right back, plus some.
Now we are 43 & 49 years old and we have decided it is time for drastic measures. Join us on our journey!
The Early Years
I was a pudgy 3-year-old and hubby was an average 3-year-old.
I was a chunky 9-year-old and hubby was an average 9-year-old.
I was a curvy 18-year-old and hubby was a skinny 18-year-old..
When we got married in 1999 he was 220 Lbs. and I was 180 Lbs. We have managed to keep a 40-50 pound weight gap between us for right at 20 years now!
After marriage, comes the steady meals (he LOVES fried foods), a more relaxed lifestyle (I LOVE working on the computer), being comfortable with each other where a few pounds gained didn’t seem like a big deal, I mean, geez, we are in love so who cares right? … and of course then came the babies.
In 2005 I was 235 lbs. and found out I had a 20-pound tumor on my ovary. I didn’t know it was there because I just assumed I was getting fatter. They took it out and thankfully it was not cancer but they decided it was best to give me a full hysterectomy to be safe. The pounds came on with a vengeance after that!
For six months after surgery, I laid up trying to “take it easy and recover” but honestly I was battling depression and menopause brought on by the surgery and I steadily gained weight. As my weight grew we did less and less and hubby’s weight grew. The one thing we could always do together was to enjoy a good home cooked meal, go out to a restaurant, or enjoy snacks while watching TV.
Finally getting a handle on my depression and feeling back to normal emotionally (sort of) in 2012 he (340 lbs.) and I (275 lbs.) both signed up for the sleeve surgery but ended up backing out even after getting approved because lets face it, surgery is scary and we didn’t really know anyone who had this type surgery to consult!
Time marched on and we have struggled ever since.
We are currently maxed out, me at 300 Lbs. and him a 350 Lbs. Along with a lot of extra pounds to lug around, we have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, type 2 diabetes, and many joint pains due to the extra weight and due to the pain, we are losing some basic abilities. IT is hard to get in and out of our chairs, it is hard to walk up stairs, bending over to wash the dog or work on anything hurts, standing to wash dishes is painful, the list goes on and on. And that doesn’t even include all of the things in life we would love to do but are not able to because of our weight. I want to ride horses again, I would like to go on a carnival ride, heck I would love to find clothes in local store instead of shopping from the fat girl stores online and I would love to feel secure in myself once again physically and emotionally, I would love to not be so humiliated at my size that I have hidden myself away from everyone and basically became a recluse.
I have struggled for a long time on whether or not I “should” get weight loss surgery.
I would think things like:
“You know, I am a child of God, why would I need to go through surgery to be able to overcome this.”
“I mean as a person of faith I should be spiritually strong enough..”
I should “resist the devil”
I should be able to “pray through the temptation”
I should be able to “overcome the flesh”
… all of that kind of stuff that people preach.
The funny thing is this… addiction is no small thing, it is a monster and even more so when you cannot quit cold turkey and walk away from it. I mean you can’t just stop eating. An alcoholic knows that to recover they cannot take even a sip of alcohol or they will relapse, but a food addict can’t just “not eat.” We need food to survive.
The other day, I was talking with hubby about our doctor who wants to put us on pills or shots to help us lose “50” pounds. I told the doctor, “I don’t need to lose 50, I need to lose 150! That is HALF of my body weight!” On our way home, I was talking about the fact I DO NOT want chemical help to lose weight and this popped into my head…
29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
I was like Oh WOW! That totally applied to the sleeve surgery we are considering!! My stomach is the “member” that offends me! The Bible says if it offends you (causes you to do wrong) then get rid of it because it is better that the stomach perishes instead of my whole body perishing and trust me, being this fat, is hell! So that gave me the courage for hubby and me to go ahead and get the surgery!
Now, medically speaking it also makes logical sense to cut off 66% of my stomach. You see, the stomach produces a hormone called ghrelin which is the hormone that tells you to be hungry! (read more about it here) So when you cut out off 66% of your stomach you have 66% less of those hormones telling you to eat! And of course, you have a lot less space to pack away the food so you start to think more sensibly about food because you can only eat a small amount so you have to eat stuff that is good for you or you would not get the nutrients you need. I know sleeve surgery is not easy and can hold the kinds of risks any surgery holds, but it is also risky to stay this big and I weighed the risks and I am willing to take the risk that could come to a great outcome over the one I know will not. There is a long road ahead of us once it is done and I know it is just a tool to HELP us stay on task with a healthier lifestyle. I know I need the help and I would rather 66% of my stomach to perish and I regain an enjoyable life than keep my stomach, and my fat and be alive for a few more years but no longer able to live!
I will be blogging about the good, bad, and the ugly of the process and I hope you join us on this journey!
Love, peace, and blessings,
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