July 11: I have to say the one thing I notice the most lately is I can’t eat a large amount of food I used to, I eat and feel full sooner (and this is before surgery) I eat a serving and go sit down and start feeling uncomfortably full when before I could eat so much more. I am learning to stop before I feel full. I guess limiting myself now has “shrunk” my stomach some already. I do find myself wanting to snack a lot and never feel satisfied with what I ate but because my tummy hurts after I eat so I am full so I think it is mostly in my head wanting comfort from food. I really dislike most veggies and such and I have issues with certain textures. I am hoping that once I have surgery I can tolerate eating a few bites of what is good for me even if it isn’t much of the things I like. I honestly just want food to be something we do to survive not something we have to spend so much time and focus on figuring out what we want to eat and then prepare a big meal and all that hassle. I want to eat to live not live to eat anymore.

Check out our food & fitness diaries flip through the dates to check out everything:

Becky’s My Fitness Pal

Stewart’s My Fitness Pal

July 30th

Our pre-surgery appointment to see the surgeon, he did a quick “you know what this all consists of, risks, expectations, and such” spill and sent us to Shirley the surgery coordinator. We went over dos and don’t of eating and bought some of the protein shake mixes and soups.

Becky’s Thoughts:

I will be honest, we are only losing weight by controlling our eating and not even eating healthy just less amount than we used to. We are being mindful of how much we eat and trying to stay away from sweets most of the time (although I have cheated on that often.) And the result is not having lost any weight to speak of this month. But we are officially starting our pre-op liquid diet this Friday so there is no cheating on that! Not much happened this month, we were approved and we waited. All this month I have tried to wiggle out of doing this, I am not looking forward to going without food and I love my hubby’s and my little snack routines,  I will miss going out to eat with him or our family. All of this is a mourning process I suppose, for so long our lives centered around food in one way or another and I suppose it still will but not by enjoying it but regulating it. I don’t feel ready, I worry the surgery will have complications, anything from leaks, to stroke, to death. So much, in fact, I am writing letters to my kids “just in case”I keep thinking “is this worth it” and I try to convince myself it is and I try to focus on the things I will enjoy once we are smaller, everything from clothes that fit to riding horses again. I try to think positive about what we can eat like, “Well, at least we don’t have to really cook (which I hate)” and “we don’t have to have the usual arguments about what’s for dinner or where do you want to eat.” It is a roller coaster for sure and we best buckle up and hold on because here we go….

Stats 8/3/2018:

• Weight:
  • Stewart:
  • • Start Weight 4/29/18: 348.6
    • Current Weight 8/2/18: 311
    • ↓ 37.6 LBs
  • Becky:
  • • Start Weight 4/19/18: 305
    • Current Weight 8/2/18: 280
    • ↓ 25 LBs

Till Next time…

Peace, Love, & Blessings,

Becky

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