Category Archives: My Journal
O hushed October morning mild, Begin the hours of this day slow. Make the day seem to us less brief.
We know that in September, we will wander through the warm winds of summer’s wreckage. We will welcome summer’s ghost. ~Heny Rollins
It has been a month since our sleeve surgery!
What a difference 2 months can do!! The first picture is 6 weeks before our surgery and the second is three weeks after.
“August rain: the best of the summer gone, and the new fall not yet born. The odd uneven time.”
Most of August was spent with us adjusting to the idea of getting weight loss surgery, dealing with the pre-op diet, and then actually having the surgery and recovering. We did try to get a little fun in here and there though!
Hubby was scheduled to go in at 6 AM and I was scheduled for 9AM. We turned on our alarms to wake up at 4:30 AM to shower and gather the last few things we needed. I woke up at 2 AM stressing and wishing I could back out but from the beginning hubby and I made a deal, “You jump, I jump” meaning if he was determined to do this then I would as well. Of course, I was not as “all in” to this idea as he was so I balked a lot over the last few weeks and cried a lot and mourned the change and loss of food and loss of traditions and routines and anything else I could find to cry about I did. So this morning was no different I tossed and turned and prayed and wished I was not going to have to do this. At 4 AM I finally woke Stewart up and let him in on my panic attack telling him while I cried how crazy this was, that we were insane for thinking this was a solution, trying to bribe him with his favorite meal at our favorite restaurant, every stage of grief I had been going through over the last two weeks I went through again at 4 AM the morning of our surgery. I was freaking out a bit because we had thought I would go first so he could “hand hold” me but then they switched it up and I knew I had to brave it alone without my soul mate. I had my mom to sit with me of course but well, my hubby lets me be a big baby and deals with it, I wasn’t sure how vulnerable I would allow myself to be with my mom. We headed to the hospital and they whisked us away to the back as soon as we arrived. Stewart didn’t even have a chance to hug the kids, we were just moved back to the prep room.